don�t know why i�m smiling. i guess its just because its mike and he�s caring a lot about me. i guess he cares too much about me sometimes.

the memories of him collide into one and i find myself feeling glad that he even put up with me during that phone call. i sometimes wonder why he was so intrigued about me to stay on that phone line

--

�fancy burning pasta or trying to make food ourselves� mike asks jokingly as he helps me down the stairs

�hmmm� what a choice� i say, trying not to laugh, but in the end burying my head in his shoulder

he takes my hand and leads me into the living room. i make myself at home on the couch and put my feet up on the footrest. he catches my eye and we smile at each other like we had never smiled each other and it was a first date. or something like that!

i grab the pillow from beside me and hug it and then rest my head against it as i watch mike stir a couple of mugs of tea. not crappy tea but tea that smells as gorgeous as it will taste from the other side of the room. blackcurrant herbal tea! mmmm!

�your pulling out all the stops aren�t you!� i smile childishly as he brings the mugs over towards me on the sofa.

he too, after placing his mug down, slips his feet against the table to rest them on. he strokes my cheek and before i start sipping my tea i rest my head against his shoulder.

�look, this isn�t what i was going to say, but do you fancy moving in with me?� mike suddenly says

thank god i wasn�t drinking else it would have gone everywhere!

�well i wasn�t expecting you to say that� i say

i know full well of his nervousness of living with other people, especially women. its an age old adage with mike that because of broken hearts and ripped down posters that his trust in living with other people doesn�t go down very well. even so called friends have managed to upset him whilst living with him.

its not that mike�s a bad person to live with. i mean i get on great with him. well i would wouldn�t i!

�what were you expecting then?� mike asks suddenly intrigued

�anything but that! more like a hug and an �it�ll be alright�. especially for the stupid things i�ve just done�

�look, i think i�d end up being the same, except collapsed a lot more before it got as far as this! honestly i�m really proud of how you have handled my stupid antics and me. not to mention everything else. but i was thinking about this the other night, about how nice it would be to look after you all the time. like have a proper relationship. trust each other completely�

i find myself blushing as i sip my tea. i can�t believe anyone would think that highly of me to want to ask me to move in with him or her. that�s why i live on my own.

�i�d have to think about it. i mean it�s a big decision. not that i don�t want to mind you�

�i understand� mike says as he sips his tea, his foot sliding over mine and me snuggling up to him

�you only want me for my cooking though!� i laugh

�nah� its your takeaway abilities that really do it for me!� mike laughs back

i love our black humour! we share the same sense of humour!

�i�m asking you this because� well now�s as good as any to tell you� he begins nervously

�come with me�� i say comfortingly

--

kissing mike on the bed is as invigorating as anything that could make you smile. before telling me anything important he always gets so wound up that it twists his insides up. i know it does with everyone, but him a lot more so. so I kiss him�

�everything feeling a bit better now?� i ask, lying on the bed beside him

�never better� he replies holding my hand, �what i want to tell you� is that jack, avril, rob and i have been talking about this for awhile now. we�re all turning 29 this year and its time to pack things up for this band. rob wants to work with another band he�s thinking of setting up with the bassist of �berlioz�, avril isn�t the drummer she used to be after rehab, jack wants to� well god knows what jack wants! as for me� i want to settle down. its time for me to do that. the bands splitting up, for good. none of us have the faith that we had when we were younger� except rob, but robs like that. he wants a guitar revolution. some of his ideas are quite good actually!�

i put a finger to mike�s mouth to keep him quiet

�stop rambling!� i say tightening my grip on his hand �its alright'

�i�m so glad i�ve finally told you that. i�ve been so scared of telling you that�

�you�ve done it and i�m really proud of you� i say kissing him gently on the cheek

�so is that why you asked me to move in with you�

�pretty much� i want a new start and a new life to go with it all. besides your place is falling to bits! look i�ll tell you the ins and outs of all of this when i know more, until then you have me for as long as you want me�

�oh god help me� i laugh and he kisses me to shut me up!