ive been having a bit of a shit time of it recently, as you may have gathered.

ive been taking stupid things out on the people i care about. and its about time i did something about it. i know what'll do and its different for every person so i wont give the game away here.

i know i can be a bitch and when im in complete bitch mode im a girl you wanna stay away from. i dont mean to be a bitch but i just am.

im fed up with a lot of things and theres only so much you can take before you decide... FUCK IT!!! and you'll visit the gothic style castle in the sky known as the next part of life

neurologis went ok. all they did was try me on another drug and say 'keep a fit diary'. but whats the fucking point coz the last time i did they never even lookd at it and just gave it back to me. and all the other times.

so now i cant be bothered. and im not going too either. i have better things to do. like write my diary for one!!!! haha. fuck you neurologist!!! that'll serve you right for mucking with the wrong girl!!!

he also put me on another drug which isnt available in chemists so i have to wait ages before i can get them. typical! all the drugs i have i have to wait ages for coz no where stocks them. at least we have nice chemists that order them in for us though

i went through all my old discs yesterday with the help of my online friend becky. we made up yesterday afternoon and had a great laugh about things that have happened. she gave me the confidence to do this...

found a couple of pictures of my xfiance which i was just sat there thinking 'oh my god... how desperate was i'. im glad i didnt marry him.

yeah part of me was thinking it would be nice to see him again but i wouldnt want to to be completly honest with you.

its nice coz i can sit and listen to my white stripes album... 'white blood cells'... i couldnt listen to it before because he had brought it for me. so guess what im doing now... yep im listening to 'fell in love with a girl' right now from that album.

it was that album that got me into the band. well i got brought it after i saw them at reading festival 2002. more specifically 'hotel yorba' as taht blew me away as its the kinda song you just think 'why the fuck havent i found you before!!!'

so thank you jack and meg white for making that album, and thank you becky for helping me find my love for that album again. you all rule!