apparently im worth nothing to a lot of people. something i wrote sarcastically has been taken the wrong way so one of my best friends doesnt want to know me.

not even retail therapy can bring me the friends and satisfaction i need. 'tom' plus 'virgin' doesnt even help. nothing helps. nothing is as it seems and i cant do a thing about it

im stuck in that corner im always on about and nothing can help me out. theres no point

im fed up of this stupid fucking epielepsy. i never wanted it and i never asked for it. ive had it since i was 10. people think im a freak because of it. ive had it told so to my face. so many times ive lost count.

i have to see the top neurologist in the world every month and they cant come up with an answer. i end up in hospital every so often.

i saw him today and he cant do a fucking thing except prescribe a drug that he hopes will be the answer, but never is. until then i just wanna hide and cry. i hate it all.

right now i really wish i was there rather than writing a stupid diary that no one reads or gives a shit about. just like all the people in my world.

there was this girl, becky, who i saw as my best friend. i miss her. i fucked it up because of the pain and situations im going through at this very moment. i cant cope with it and took it out on her and now she hates me. you see i fuck everything up.

whats the point of living if you cant get anything right? ive never got anything right so i cant see it anymore