working at the sainsburys coffee shop has been a bit mad of late and although we have a new manager in martha everythings still a bit of treading-on-glass around her. shes a perfectionist in her own way. i mean i got showed the proper way to cut up jelly pieces!!!

i think i understand her a lot better in the way of some people i work with as she comes from a fast food restaurant background (maccyd's) and i do (burger king). the advantage being that i know how fast-food managers work. its a funny lil world

id never got to thinking about the whole work situation till i was making my way back from work today. unless im being picked up then i walk it to the train station, get the train and then walk through one end of abbots langley to the other. all in all it takes about an hour! give or take

i got to thinking bout all this coz it hurt me when martha made katherine start to cry. just for something really really stupid but katherine got upset and took it to heart. normally shes a really strong girl and i girl i really admire the opinion of.

i gave her a big hug and then cheered her up even more. when i stuck my tongue out at her. i look really stupid when i do that and it instantly cheered her up. on my way out i stopped off to talk to her and said 'just remember... never let the bastards get you down!'... which is blatantly true

and im definitly not having one of my friends be sad!

i am nervous about tomorrow.

it'll be the first time ive seen tom since last week and from evrything thats happened.

he has been sweet about everything. even phoning me up on a couple of nights just to make sure that i am ok. i just hope hes not leading me on and crap like that

im fed up of feeling heart-broken and dont give a damn. i give a damn about my feelings and the repercussions on them though.

although this little bit will blow all what ive just said out the window. but thats cause i give a shit about tom

always have done

talking to steve today made me think that maybe tom does still like me a lot more than he thinks.

thinking about the hope of the situation makes me think that tom is just trying to relight a candle that only flickers for friendship as they had said they were just going to be that.. until she found out about the texts id sent.

oh well... only 10hours and 23minutes till i find out the answers to the questions i need to pose to tom with... mentally... physically... emotionally...