i cant get back to sleep. so what do i go and do... slip down the stairs and go on the internet of course! well i dont particularly want to toss and turn for the next couple of hours!! and there is a couple of things i need to get off my chest in the way of problems rather than clothes..

i told greg about tom last night. i dont think its one down to well. cant remember if ive explained this one properly (knowing me i already have) but greg is my x that im not too sure if i want to get back together with, and tom is the guy i work with that i spend all my time flirting with. we practically have the same shifts in a few hours. he's 9-5 and im 9-4.

anyway i told greg and he said it was ok but i get the distinct feeling that it isnt.

i have a horrible sixth sense about knowing someones feelings and it makes me worried and care sometimes that little bit too much. gets me into trouble. mainly depression trouble but thats what im used to.

im diagnosed with depression anyway. rears its head mainly in winter but pops up now and again in summer. just to remind myself that this is actually what i do and feel like.

i pay attention to stupid details like that, and a lot more

greg said everything was ok but i hate to say it but 'i know him'. he becomes more sarcastic and quiet when upset. thats not like the normal him. hes not exactly chatty when hs happy but normally he says more than 'ok', 'oh' and the obligatory 'ah', just to be different.

maybe nothing will happen with tom. i spoke to him last night. i probably shouldnt have done it but i did. ill kic myself for it later.. i know i will.

i wanted someone to make me smile and tom always does

he was in the middle of the pub, in front of a couple of mates, but did say he wanted to have called if he'd had credit on his phone.

i asked him jokingly whether he missed me. he said 'i do miss you.. as a friend'.

at first i was kinda upset about this but thinking about it i guess that maybe he was just saying that in front of his friends. i mean guys are hardly going too go all gooey and mushy in front of their friends are they.

oh well just have to see what happens in a few hours time

i am upset as well coz ive gone and lost my white stripes album. elephant.

am really not happy about that. especially as i have a really bad urge to listen to it.

oh i sooooooo hope it turns up soon. its one of my fave albums and i keep wracking my brains to remember where i last had it but its really annoying me now!!! think im gonna go back to bed for a few hours i think now. ill take the cat with me seing as hes sat by my feet.

he's a 3legged terror / monster called cobweb and i love him to bits!!

nanite people.. see you on here this evening xx