music: avril lavigne - complicated (let go)

ive pretty much got out of my depressive stage, but not my avril stage. i dont think ill ever get out of my avril stage. it'll be like linkin park... that music will be one i take to my grave. i want cd's put in my coffin rather than the usual crap.

sorry, im meant to be happy arent i. well i saw my next door neighbour today whilst doing my front garden up. i just thought what a bastard for putting me in that position. at the time of seeing him i really didnt care and i honestly dont now as i type this. he is what marge said - a wanker!

im too trust-worthy. thats my problem.

i did do other things but im not gonna talk about them as i dont feel ready and things are so fucked in my head that i cant! thats why im listening to my favourite song

doing up the front garden has really taken my mind off things.

we've almost done the mystical forest side. it has a pumpkin with a baby christmas tree behind it. signifies one of my favourite films - 'nightmare before christmas'. i was proud of that one! just needs a few more animals and less bark and then that sides sorted!

now the other side of the pathway has always been a mad beach sort of thing. it has faces in the sea. we got some slate for the sea and then sprinkled it with blue crystal gravel and basically... wow! it turned it into an amazing sea effect!

with shells and a rockery around it - not to mention the sea faces that look like people drowning, and a spooky effect of a goblin. do you remember the really freaky scotsman from that tv programme 'dads army' - well he looks exactly like him!

i will be back here more often soon... just tied up with loadsa things that im happier with... like new boots and me sobering up from being totally caffeine drunk earlier! lol