well im still on a bit of a high since me and my mum booked the tickets to see linkin park. its my christmas present and what better way to celebrate than seeing one of my favourite bands!

normally i go to squillions of concerts every year but i havent been to one this year. i had the chance of seeing jools holland but i couldnt because i was working. seeing linkin park will just top everything off!! that will be my two favourite bands seen in concert then!

i saw the white stripes before. i saw them at reading festival last year and had a great time! ive probably told you that a million times by now! or you've at least seen the pictures!

my best friend, and still one of my great friends even now- 12years later, from secondary school and her husband, john, came over last night to show me and my mum their wedding photos. they got married last year and i was so happy for them both. hes a great guy for her.

sometimes you feel like a spare part with a couple as loved up as they are but i never have. the first time i met john he was playing with a mcdonalds toy from the kids meal and i was just sat there thinking 'now this is someone im really going to get on with!'. im just a 5yr old kid at heart. only so i can get the 5yrs and older toys!

after all the wedding showing we went to jarman park which is the leisure complex round here. its a bit crap if you go every single day but its one of the few things you can do round here. we played a couple of games of air hockey, had a few drinks and then played pool.

all of us were sober. john couldnt drink because he was driving, christina couldnt because she was on anti-biotics and i cant because i can die if i have alcohol with the amount of drugs im on for my epielepsy.

to be honest i dont really like drinking anyway. you dont need alcohol to have a great night... all you need is mates and a smile! the only annoying thing about not drinking and others drinking is trying to get them all home. i honestly dont think that parts fair!

anyway somehow i ended up winning all games of pool! well john potted the black when i played him and me and christina were just like we cant be arsed so we're gonna take our time!

went to maccyd's afterwards and then sat in the car afterwards re-calling all the times when we were at langleybury school together. thats where we met. felt sorry for john because he doesnt really know the place so we were telling him what everyone was like and how weird people were.

it really was a fucked-up school when i think about it. there was sonia hammond and tracey boag (yes that really is her surname!) who at the time were my best friends but they are both drug addicts now. i remember sniffing tippex with them once when we bunked off lessons and getting high on it. thank god i properly met melanie crabtree. she saved me from them. we started becoming friends and then that was it... i was saved.

ive decided to go back to college on a part-time writing course. its only going to cost me something like �35 and is either in the day-time or evening but it will be great to do. the course i want to do is everything i wanted from university but without the stress or expense! its all about narrative, finding an agent, finding a decent publisher, copyright, and all that. some i know i bit about but it will be great to have a decent qualification about what i really wnat to do under my belt.

it will be great meet new friends who have the same interests as me. its horrible being in a place where your friends have deserted you for new lifes and different directions, but it happens as same people are just taht fake.

chatting to my next-door neighbours yesterday they made me realise how good it was that i went up to luton. they were surprised at the change in me and how mappier i seemed. i am. i have things to look forward to. ok one of them is a psychatrist appointment but hey its a chance to get out of the house and make myself smile :)